1.What is a KISS?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to  further  PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.
 

2. Latest Statistics: What men do after sex? 2% eat. 3% smoke cigarettes. 4% take a shower. 5% go to sleep. 86% get up and go back home to their wives.
 

3. Why is your dick better than a credit card?
   (a)  Once spent recharges itself.
   (b)  It is accepted worldwide.
   (c)  You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
 
4.  LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut!
   MUM: You mean it's small?
   LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!

 

5.  A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing.
   He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
 

6.  A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
   The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?
   MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
 

7.  Women top 5 lies:  from the whitest down
   5. I am a virgin.  
   4. It is so big.
   3. I can't do that to my best friend.
   2. I won't gain weight after marriage
   1. I am coming! I am coming!!!
 

8.  A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic. She says: What is that? He says: We go Home, screw, and then you disappear.
 

9.  What is the closest thing to a woman's period?
   Your SALARY... It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days, and if it doesn't come, you are F*CKED!!!

 

10 .  Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?  
      A Kid replied : The legs...because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING".
 

11.  Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
Pupil : Because I heard my sister's boyfriend  say   "TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PUSSY".
 

12.  What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?
     Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over, but when you pull down the
           PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.
 

13.  AGES OF VAGINA:
     -16 to 19 BRAND NEW.
     -20 TO 28 SLIGHTLY USED
     -29 TO 36 SECOND HAND
     -37 TO 45 SUBJECT TO REPAIR
     -46 TO 55 FOR LUBRICATION
     -56 TO 60 TOTAL WRECK
     -61 TO 70 CLOSED FOR  RENOVATION!!!!!!!
 

14.  MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP!
     GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him  DON'T STOP!!!!"

 

15. GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
     9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!!
     7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
     6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
     5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
     4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
     3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
     2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!!