Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
dumb woman = pregnancy
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she
A woman worries about the future
until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who
makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him
a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a
lot and not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men do, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.
A woman marries a man expecting
he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting
that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning
of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped
after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.